So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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