So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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