we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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