Me. At least after what I've been through.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
