I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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