Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
drinking out of a sandbucket again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
