he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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