they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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