This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
