You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
