drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Four minutes until I can fart!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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