Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Pooping to opera.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
