Don't make out with my wife yet
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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