I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
