i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
