Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize