So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dick very happy bro
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
