Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize