He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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