I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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