I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
