why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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