We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You made out with two different species that night
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
