We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
