he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
ttyl tear gas
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
