you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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