Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
