oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
