You can't motorboat a personality
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
