I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
