i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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