Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
