What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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