i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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