Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
