i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
