There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
