This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
