that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
