All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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