I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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