Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
