I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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