So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
