Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize