I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
