i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
