did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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