Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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