did you get engaged???
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
