Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
