I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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