google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you didnt know i had herpes?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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