I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
