we made out on top of his cat.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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